Remember the old BT adverts that told us it was good to talk? Now they tell us it’s good to be connected – and it is, but this shouldn’t impact our ability to have regular conversations with one another.
A large proportion of my HR coaching clients came to me because they wanted help with a strategy, a vision, help with their career path, more confidence or to grow more in a role, and they got there, and at the end of the relationship they often want to keep it going – not because they didn’t achieve their objective, but because they have benefitted from an external person to talk to, a different perspective and often just a listening ear.
At Chrysalis whilst a small and perfectly imperfect team, we talk regularly. Monday mornings start with our Kickstart the week call, Fridays are our end of week review and we speak in person, on the phone or via other communication channels throughout each day of the week. Then, once a month we have our blank paper where we focus on team development, getting creative, solutions or projects. For a small team this may sound like a lot, but it’s needed. Sometimes just to talk things through, sometimes to generate ideas and sometimes to develop. It helps us gain perspective, look at what we are doing well and review what we need to be doing better.
I’m a mentor for three different charities and this is all about listening, and helping – it’s beneficial to the mentees to have someone to talk to, an external perspective and a listening ear.
Open plan offices seem to be hindering our ability to walk to someone and talk to them
Technology has made it easy to Yammer, or Slack, or Email, or Whatsapp, or Messenger or text or whatever other methods you may be using, but sometimes we just need someone to talk to.
Often just saying something out loud and allowing ourselves to hear it, can be the thing we needed to unstick ourselves and move forwards. Without verbalising the stuff that’s in our head holding us back, we can get too lost in the thought and the possible outcomes and become fixated on the issue, unable to find our own solution.
So it’s good to talk
Find a way to increase verbal communication with your team – call them, meet with them, Zoom them but talk to them. We don’t also say what we need to via social channels and as most are made for brevity, telling someone you’re fine seems a lot easier then talking to them about your crap day – or the fact that you just feel crap at a particular point in time, and it’s also easier to understate your big win when you want to scream from the roof tops but it’s easier to text – it went well.
So, please, talk more. That’s what makes us human.
And if you haven’t got the time or the relationships to talk to someone internally, check out our 2015 blog on Coaches-the good, the bad and the ugly for some tips on how to find your perfect match.
Not one for thinking outside the box – mainly because she believes there isn’t one, Kelly founded Chrysalis in 2014 after being appointed as the UK’s Youngest HR Director (something she was told she couldn’t achieve with two young sons), after feeling that consultancy needed to more people and less process driven because – well that’s what gives consultants a bad reputation.
Through her consulting, coaching, talks, presentations, workshops and books, she rips up the rule book and helps people create what’s best for them, their teams and their organisations – not what’s best for their competitors.